THE UNIVERSE is always speaking to us, sending us little messages, causing coincidences and serendipities, reminding us to STOP, listen look around and believe in something else, something more…
More to life than Ironman?
Time. Time. It’s all about time. Time has a wonderful way of showing us what really matters.
All in good time, dear…
The warning signs were all there and the universe had definitely been trying to warn me to slow down – but I carried on regardless and look where that’s left me. With a broken foot.
So, my Ironman quest is over, for now, who knows what the future holds but for the meanTIME I’m turning out, tuning in and coping out and getting all spiritual again.
Isn’t it funny how things happen. Ten days ago I was sat on a sun lounger in Antigua having a most deep and meaningful conversation with a beautiful colleague who I’d just met. Kirstine.
Warm, approachable and fun – she’s just one of these people you feel compelled to be around.
After sharing stories it became very apparent that we had more than wearing a Julian MacDonald BA uniform in common. We’d both moved out of home at a young age, and perhaps not had the best relationships throughout our lives. We’d been addicted to various things to distract ourselves from ourselves and had become very good at running away from our issues.
Incidentally, I must add that on the flight over to the sunshine island I’d lost my Garmin 910XT, which had fallen out of my work handbag. Falling, being another interesting theme and warning sign, perhaps?
Anyhow we were discussing my ankle break last year, my father’s death, my link to Lanzarote and how the Ironman journey had become my focus and consumed all of my TIME. Our lives could not be more similar, as we chatted we unravelled many more links. K too had taken shelter from the madness of life and had attempted to start a new one over on the rock and in recent years we had both discovered spiritualism and healing on our pathways to find inner calm. It was all spookily uncanny!
Our chats continued on the night flight back to the UK. I knew then we’d become great friends and that our paths were meant to cross. Upon landing into the UK my watch had not been returned. I sat on the crew bus feeling emotional, deflated and ridiculously sad about my watch. Kirstine reminded me that it was “only a f**king watch’ and that there was more to life than a piece of plastic. Her Scottish humour and no nonsense approach was soothing, if it had been anyone else mind, I might have told them to feck off.
To cut a long story short, the watch was found, and my sanity marginally restored – but it left me questioning what my life had become. It was rush this, rush that, get this six-hour bike done, 4km swim set nailed, wham, bam, good effort Sam. Sleep, eat, train, repeat, upload to Strava – work, fly, here, there and everywhere. I had become so consumed with it all, completely and utterly absorbed into a world of exercise.
Fast forward to ‘The fall’ and I was back in Lanza for my last push and final BIG training week ahead of Ironman with a suspected broken foot. Of course it wasn’t broken I kept telling myself as I drove towards Costa Teguise in my hire car. It. Just. Can’t be. Slightly concerned I text the lovely Paul, a friend, and swim coach who I’d had the great pleasure meeting last July on my life-changing Lanza trip. He insisted I pulled over at the next exit, he’d pick me up and take me to hospital to get it all checked out. My worst nightmare was confirmed, broken fifth metatarsal and stress fracture. Initially, I was in pieces, my IM dream shattered, as well as my poor tootsie.
After a huge glass of MTFU and some strong words to myself I soon regained a reality check. Paul said all the right things and made me realise in the grand scheme of things – it was not the end of the world. I simply cannot thank him enough for everything he has done for me in the past week. Translated at hospital, waited patiently, been an amazing host, cooked, taken me shopping, kept me from crying, made me laugh, lots, he’s been the light at the end of what could have been a very dark tunnel. Thank you Paulo.
Friends have been INCREDIBLE. Once again I am reminded of all the amazing peeps I have in my life right now. Inundated with lovely messages, jokes, pictures… people offering their help in anyway that they can. I am just so overwhelmed with the kindness.
Tragic news has also helped me to gain perspective. A fellow buddy due to share the Lanza course died suddenly last Thursday. A group of us had formed on Twitter and over the past few months we’d shared training tips, words of encouragement and support to each other on our road to Ironman status, he had been even more excited than me about earning his medal on those challenging lava fields. As a group we had also all agreed to wear pink visors #teampink in honour of @Holliecradduck niece, Rosie.
We have all been in complete shock and disbelief at how life can be taken away in a heartbeat, – he was the same age as me FFS. My stomach churns thinking about this loss. I keep looking back at our last What’s App conversation in complete disbelief. He was such a character – agreeing to dye his beard pink. Knowing that he will never be able to experience crossing the IM finishing line breaks my heart, but also drives me to pursue my dream again once I am fixed. So in the scheme of things not being able to complete an IM this year is a minor bend in the road that is life.
So what’s next? Er, swim, swim and more swim… I have already booked my favourite local Raw Energy Pursuits event – the 3.8km River Arun Swim to give me a new focus. I HAVE to have something to train for. That’s. Just. Me. I’m sure I will do their other events too, the Littlehampton River Front Festival swim and the River Adur swim. Like a Mermaid on a mission, I will train with my great channel swimming friend, Mike – who is also convincing me to consider the Henley Bridge to Bridge 14km in August. That’s like an Ironman for water lovers, right?! And there’s a few more Mad Hatter events in Cornwall that tickle my fancy too. If you can think of any more I’d be interested in drop me a line!
There is no question of doubt about this… I will be back out to Lanza come race week (May 19 to 26) to take on the huge role of chief cheerer/supporter for #Teampink crew. Yes folks, I may not be able to run the course, but I sure as hell can hobble it and holla shouts at my beautiful able bodied buds. You lot are going to ROCK it!
This journey to IM status aint over – it’s only just begun. Tom, thanks for sharing this… and RIP.
When you get up in the morning, think about how precious life is to think, to enjoy, to love
