RIGHT, it’s been some time since we’ve been here and a lot has happened. There have been ups and plenty of downs, and some radical changes have been made. I’m not sure how long this post is going to be, so bear with me and forgive me a bit if I start to ramble.

October saw the death of my girlfriend’s dad. It was sudden, and not at all expected so it was a shock to everyone. I’d known him for well over a decade. So, needless to say, training kind of trailed off for a while. Gradually things began to gain some sort of shape, but it only opened up other issues that needed to be dealt with.

Training-wise I hit the weights again on a slightly different plan, and the feeling of lifting heavy honestly felt great. Gradually improving and feeling stronger gave me a bit of a boost. I was careful not to lose sight of what I was actually there for, and it would’ve been very easy to stay caught up in lifting. I have to remind myself that I’m actually an endurance athlete, not a power lifter, and as nice as it is to feel bigger and stronger, I had plenty I needed to do. Also, I think it was a bit of a distraction and helped me to not think about other issues, ones that I now realise I’d been dealing with for pretty much most of the year, and I didn’t really want to face that.

Around November I was beginning to feel pretty low and frustrated with the apparent lack of support. I’d been feeling that way for quite a while and was getting more and more annoyed that I was feeling that way. The problem is that triathlon in general can very easily alienate those close to you, especially if it’s not something they’re interested in. And when you add to the mix what I’m trying to do with my ten million metres challenge, it becomes ridiculous.

The fundraising side of things really needs a boost too, but that’s a whole other thing. It was during that time that I had some fantastic support and interaction on Twitter. Being able to vent and rant to people who had an idea of what I was going through really helped, and several people stood out there!

However, as nice as that was it only highlighted what was wrong, and so, a week before Christmas (yes, crappy timing, I know) I chose to end a 14-year relationship. It was an incredibly tough decision to make, but once I realised what I needed to do, all that anger and frustration seemed to make sense, and in order for me to not end up resenting what I’m trying to do and those who have supported it, I had to make a choice. I’m not saying that I chose sport, but more that I chose to stop the compromises that I’ve hated and to focus on being a happier me, regardless of what it is I’m doing.

So, as 2016 begins, we’re looking to dismantle a life together, and involving ourselves in all the practicalities of doing that. It really is a very hard thing to do, and really takes a toll on you.

It’s only as January turns a week old that I’m finding a flow again, getting back in to the pool properly, changing from the weight room to dumbbell circuits and stability ball core work and working a bit more on the run and bike.

Incidentally, the dumbbell work at home is far more convenient now that all those eager beavers putting their New Year’s resolutions into practice are glogging up the gyms everywhere. At least for the next few weeks I have all that I need at my fingertips when I need them. I need to get back in to endurance athlete mode for a while. I may or may not return to the weight room in some capacity as I do actually enjoy it (shock horror).

As far as planned events for the year go, it’s now all up in the air after the breakup. The priority has shifted towards finding somewhere else to live and the expense of races just can’t factor in much.

Previous to all this upheaval a friend and I had made a bit of an epic plan. That plan was to ride from John O’ Groats to Land’s End, stopping off to run the Three Peaks and then swim the Three Lakes on the way, and, once there, run/walk from Land’s End to London over 14 days in August. Now, as things stand, I’m not sure that is going to be possible. Not only will that require quite a financial commitment at a time when I’m not in a great position, it is also going to take a considerable mental effort. And with my mind all over the place it’s proving tough to get back in the zone in order to tackle the mountain (literally) of work I need to put in. Unless I can find some funding from somewhere, I doubt I’ll be able to do it. And that sucks.

So it looks like I’ll be sticking with the no-frills local races. And while I love them, I was kind of hoping for a big slice of mileage this year.

Although, this year will still include maybe four Olympic triathlons, a half iron-distance, a full iron-distance, possibly a half marathon and a double marathon so there’s still plenty to do! 

Emotions and a stable environment are a frequently overlooked factor in training and racing successfully, and I’ve been all too aware of that lately. It’s not the way I wanted to start the year, but those are the cards I’m dealing with and I’ve got to make the most of it.

So really, I’m not sure if this is a positive or negative post, but this is the journey I’m on. Struggling to find companies willing to help support me in some way, no matter how small, trying to attract donations, and coming to terms with my decisions and their knock-on effects. It’s been quite a rollercoaster!

Hopefully things will settle soon and I can get back to being the positive me. When I started this I knew it would be a pretty tall order, but it’s taking me to places I never thought I would go. It’s also brought me in to contact with some incredible people, doing incredible things and being incredibly supportive of what I’m doing. Is that too many incredibles? So what if it is. There’s so many wonderful and inspirational people out there that deserve a mention. I’m just trying to do my little bit to make a difference.

Anyway, take care all. Happy New Year and do your best to make it a good one.

To get behind Jamie and support The Cure Parkinson’s Trust visit  justgiving.com/jamie-wheeler2