Vacations are one of the things that most of us look forward to more than anything, It’s a stretch of time when we can all do exactly what we want without having to worry about the daily grind of work or chores or whatever other dull tasks take up much of our time in regular life.
Vacations are a time when the mundane does not matter and we can have a real adventure that we will remember for the rest of our lives, but sadly, for many people, it does not always work out that way because they quite simply do vacations wrong.
If you do not want to be one of those poor people who end up on a dull vacation that they’ll forget as soon as they touch down back home, then check out this guide of how NOT to have an adventurous vacation, and do the exact opposite., You know it makes sense!
-
Stick to the Overcrowded Tourist Traps
First thing’s first: make sure you only visit the most crowded, overhyped tourist spots. Why seek out hidden gems when you can share your space with thousands of other tourists, all clamoring for that same selfie in front of that famous landmark? Ah, the sweet sound of a hundred selfie sticks clicking in unison!
-
Plan Every Second of Every Day
Spontaneity? Never heard of her. The key to a bland vacation is to schedule every minute. There’s no room for unexpected adventures or serendipitous experiences here. Stick to the itinerary, and for heaven’s sake, don’t you dare deviate!
-
Eat Only Familiar Foods
Why try local delicacies when you can find a fast-food chain with the same menu you have back home? Bonus points if you can eat at the same chain multiple times. Remember, the goal here is to ensure your taste buds are as unadventurous as possible.
-
Stay Well Within Your Comfort Zone
If the thought of trying something new sends shivers down your spine, good! Keep doing what you always do. That new water sport, a hike in the hills, a night of salsa dancing in the streets? Nah, sounds risky. Better to just watch TV in your hotel room.
-
Avoid Locals at All Costs
Local people might give you insights into their culture and lead you to experiences you never knew existed. Can’t have that! Keep to yourself, and whatever you do, don’t mingle with the locals.
-
Stay Connected 24/7
Ensure your phone is glued to your hand at all times. Stay up to date with every email, social media notification, and work crisis. Because what’s a vacation without staying tethered to your everyday life?
-
Pack Everything But the Kitchen Sink
Why pack light when you can bring everything you own? Lugging around heavy suitcases is sure to add an element of challenge (and back pain) to your trip. Who needs mobility and freedom when you can have a mini workout every time you move?
-
Choose the Most Generic Accommodations
Ignore those quaint B&Bs, unique hostels, or stunning Snowmass vacation rentals. Opt for the most generic, cookie-cutter hotel chain you can find. The more it resembles every other hotel you’ve ever stayed in, the better.
-
Rely Solely on Reviews and Recommendations
Don’t trust your own instincts about where to go and what to do. Instead, base all your decisions on what others have said. That tiny, unpopular café with a quirky menu? No way. Stick to the top-rated spots only, regardless of whether they interest you, and at least you know you’ll be safe.
-
Ignore Local Customs and Culture
Why learn about local customs, traditions, or a bit of the language when ignorance is bliss? Cultural immersion, understanding, and respect? Sounds like a lot of hard work, right? You’re here for a good time, not an enlightening time. Who needs to grow as a person anyway?
-
Travel Only in Tour Groups
Make sure to travel exclusively in large tour groups full of brash people. Personalized experiences are overrated, y’know? The bigger the group, the less chance there is for personal discovery or making your own adventure.
-
Never Wander Off the Beaten Path
That little side street looks intriguing? Nope, stay on the main road where it’s safe. Who knows what you might find down there – and finding unexpected joys is exactly what we’re avoiding, right?
-
Make No Effort to Meet New People
One of the best parts of traveling can be the new people you meet. So naturally, you’ll want to avoid that. Keep to yourself – who needs new friends or travel buddies, right?
-
Take No Photos or Souvenirs
Why create lasting memories of your trip that will be treasured by you forever? Don’t bother with photos, and definitely don’t bring back any souvenirs. Your memory is good enough… probably.
-
Make Sure Your Vacation is a Tech-Fest
Why experience the world around you when you can stare at a screen? Keep your phone, tablet, and laptop at the ready. Spend your evenings catching up on all those TV shows you’ve missed instead of experiencing the local nightlife or gazing at the stars.
-
Travel at Peak Times Only
Sure, you could travel during the off-season and enjoy less crowded destinations, but where’s the fun in that? Instead, make sure to plan your trip during peak travel times. Enjoy the long lines, crowded beaches, and overbooked attractions – they’re all part of the ‘authentic’ tourist experience.
-
Play It Safe with Activities
If there’s an opportunity to try something new and potentially thrilling, from skiing to the local aubergine dish, make sure to politely decline. Stick to what you know. After all, who needs the excitement of scuba diving, mountain biking, or exploring ancient ruins? Keep it predictable and uneventful. Remember, you’re aiming for a vacation that’s as thrilling as a bowl of plain oatmeal.
-
Complain. A Lot.
Finally, and most importantly, make sure to complain as much as possible. The weather, the food, the people – nothing should be to your liking. After all, the goal is to have a completely unremarkable and grumpy vacation.
Now you know how NOT to have an exciting time on vacation, you can make sure that you do indeed have an adventure or two.
