Cadi pictured in Tibet.
CADI LAMBERT’S passion for the outdoors and adventure was ignited after the tragic loss of her partner in 2014. Determined to regain her life, the first challenge she took on was the Coast to Coast cycle route in the UK which had been an ambition of Bob’s and one they had previously talked about and planned together. She has since gone on to complete more challenges including the Scottish Coast to Coast and her first sprint triathlon.
In this interview Cadi talked to us about the epic one-day cycle as well as the other challenges she’s set herself over the last year. She gives advice to others who have suffered the loss of loved ones in the most difficult of circumstances and talks about how the internet and social media can be an outlet for people to share their stories and support each other through grief and struggle.
To find out more about Cadi and to read about what she is getting up to visit her blog (cadi2014.wordpress.com) or follow her on Twitter at @cadilambert.
Your journey to cycle the Coast to Coast route in one day was inspired by the death of your partner of seven years. What made you want to take up the challenge and how did you prepare for it?
When Bob was still alive, cycling the Coast to Coast in one day was his ambition. I had done the ride with him before, over three days, and knew how tough it was, so had said I did not fancy it. When Bob died I wanted to take on the challenge for him. I also knew I needed something to focus on and cycling was a great way to keep mentally and physically fit in the months after his death.
A friend, very kindly, worked out a training plan for me but my main preparation was to take my bike everywhere with me! If I went away for a weekend the bike came too and I just made sure I got many miles under my belt.
The start of the Coast to Coast cycle in Whitehaven.
What did it feel to succeed in the challenge and did the cycle ride take its toll on your body?
On the day the ride was every bit as tough as I had imagined it would be. It was 130 miles and had a total ascent of over 11,000ft. I had a fantastic support team, some of my best friends and family all came along; either to ride with me or to follow in support vehicles.
At the top of the last big climb of the day.
In the end three of us completed the entire ride; my sister Sian, my friend Natalie and myself. Physically we didn’t fare too badly, aside from pretty sore legs for a few days. Towards the end of the ride it was more of a mental challenge. The last part of the ride is not the most attractive but there was never any question of not completing it.
As we pulled up in Tynemouth (to a welcoming committee of friends and family) I shed a few tears. It’s hard to describe the emotion – just overwhelming relief that I had managed to do Bob’s dream proud.
Coming up to the finish in Tynemouth.
The cycle team and support crew.
Cadi, her sister Sian and friend Natalie.
What challenges have you set yourself since and where in the world have they taken you?
Since completing the Coast to Coast I have taken on smaller challenges of my own. Last year I completed my first sprint triathlon and this year I am hoping to bag an Olympic distance one. I also cycled the Scottish Coast to Coast with my Dad.
I have agreed to cycle London to Paris in 24 hours next year. However I am on the lookout for more challenges at the moment as I need some more events to aim for!
Cadi and her Dad at the start of the John Muir Way (Scottish Coast to Coast) .
Where are you currently and what is the purpose of the trip?
I have just arrived back from Nepal and Tibet. A quite challenging and diverse trip especially as we flew into Kathmandu the day after the earthquake. Again this was a trip which Bob would have been going on and I was incredibly pleased to be able to see the sights for him. It was a strange experience to fly into a disaster zone and watch an international rescue effort taking place. I travelled to Nepal with Bob in 2012 to trek to Everest Base Camp. We both loved the country and I hope to visit again one day.
Cadi completing her first triathlon the Market Harborough Sprint Tri.
Part of the aim of the trip to Tibet was to visit Everest Base Camp from the Tibetan side but we were unable to do this as the Chinese shut the approaches after the earthquake.
We did manage to complete the Mount Kailash kora. This is a three-day trek which is completed by large numbers of Tibetans, Indians and other nationalities each year. Mount Kailash is considered to be a sacred mountain and has never been climbed. The trek takes in a pass of nearly 5,700m – the highest I have ever been! – which was tough work, due to the altitude.
At the top of Mount Kailash.
Do you have more exciting plans for the rest of 2015 and beyond?
A month before heading out to Tibet I took a big risk and left my job. I felt that my time in the job had run its course and Bob’s death has made me realise that you can’t wait for life to bring change… you have to go out and find it. I am currently looking for an exciting new role. Preferably something which incorporates my love of sport and adventure.
Could you tell us more about your blog and how important is it to be able to share your story with others across the internet?
I started to write my blog as a kind of personal therapy after Bob died. I didn’t really expect many people to read it but found I got an amazingly positive reaction. Not only did friends and family read and share it, they also told me it was helpful for them to know how I was feeling.
I then started to get feedback from readers on Twitter. So many people came to me with support and to share their own stories. It made a huge difference to my grief and I hope that it helped others too.
I have found a new passion for writing and social media and have made some connections with wonderful people because of it.
What advice would you give to someone who has lost a loved one in a similar way to yourself but is finding it hard to come to terms with what has happened?
My partner took his own life and that is not something which is easy to come to terms with. In some ways I probably never will. It leaves behind a great deal of unanswered questions and guilt. I found the guilt the hardest to deal with. You constantly berate yourself for not doing more or spotting the signs.
Eventually I was given a piece of advice by a lady who had lost her partner in similar circumstances. She told me to learn to accept the guilt; don’t agonise, don’t pretend it is not there, just let it become a part of your life. I found this far better advice than ‘Don’t feel guilty’.
The three main things I would say are:
- 1) Do not allow others to put time limits on your grief (whether short or long). I was told I would not start feeling normal for three years and was determined this would not be true. However, if it takes that long or longer, it is fine.
- 2) Try to find a focus. Something to aim for. A purpose. It is easy to lose all of these after someone dies.
- 3) Talk to people. Talk to your friends, to your family, even to people on Twitter. Don’t be afraid that people will not want to hear and don’t worry about repeating yourself. Just talk.
Cadi pictured with Bob in Nepal in 2012.
